The Lives We Provide Ourselves

Nia Long Graces the August Cover of ESSENCEBy Tiffany A. Dedeaux

Recognizing that “we underestimate the lives we can provide for ourselves” Nia Long’s story in the August 2012 issue of Essence had a lot of moments of wisdom for me.  The beginning of the transformation for Long, I would say, was the realization that she had to get to the root of what she felt was wrong in her life.  In doing this she found that witnessing the issues her mother had with romantic relationships Long realized that it all “made me never want to have to depend on anyone, to not have to ask for anything” and that she has since “never seen a marriage work.”

As you may recall from previous blog posts, change on a large scale involves others but also begins with you.  In working through her stuff Long found that she’s “a lot calmer.  Less clingy and demanding” in her current relationship.  This change has undoubtedly empowered her to embrace the career paths of other actresses to the extent where she does not feel like it’s a competition.

From that balance Long also finds her strength.  She admits that she speaks up for herself even with the threat of being labeled difficult.  By speaking up she not only ensures that things are done right by her, but that the situations she finds herself in supports a commitment “to go where I’m celebrated, not tolerated.”

While I look at change as beginning with awareness, I still think that before change can come a decision needs to be made to follow the path that change may forge.  Long’s transformation came from “a real commitment to emotional maturity, to peace in my home.”  What is one decision you’ve made and committed to that has allowed you to make changes in your life?


How Do We Make Change Happen?

Nia Long:  Single, Satisfied & Raising Her Boys


Speak Up


About Tiffany A. Dedeaux

Tiffany is an ICF Career Coach and a cross-pollinator of ideas with a background in broadcast journalism, social and ecopsychology, and coaching. Tiffany’s nearly two decades of experience has helped her to identify the power of story in connecting us to each other as well as to our environment. A believer in the power of reflection, practical application, and celebrating victories, Tiffany understands that the more we all live our dream, the more we can model it for future generations.
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