By Tiffany A. Dedeaux

A manager I work with in another capacity has confessed that taking into account my personality characteristics has really changed the way she’s been able to work with me because she better understands why I may do what I do.  I would agree.  Since that manager found a note on introversion on Facebook I have noticed a change in how our exchanges have gone.  The changes have been significant enough that I have felt more like a valued part of her team in my own right without having to demonstrate more extroverted tendencies.

This is a good point to consider.  Are there relationships you’re in where the communication is not all that it could be?  Is there a difference in how you’re treated and how you want to be treated?  Could this be addressed by taking into account whether you’re an introvert or extrovert in your preferences?  I say preferences because as Bonni and Dave Stachowiak have pointed out on Coaching for Leaders, personality classifications are not one-size-fits-all, all-the-time label.  As I’ve gotten older and more established I have engaged in more extraverted activities.  It does help me to think about my preferences in terms of what my default is.

Pulling from the series that the Stachowiaks’ have put together, if you’re looking to improve your relationships with others – whether or not you work with them – consider this:

• When do they feel most energized?  Alone?  When they’re with others?
• How do they like to communicate?  Do they need silence to contemplate or to talk it through?
• Can they be impatient with a slow pace?  Need to see progress?  Need regular feedback?
• Do they work better independently? Need reminding to share what they’re thinking?

While this is a very simple look at things to consider, I would suggest that it would be good to step back from time to time to remind yourself to look at how the other people in your life give and receive information as well as to check in whether you’re getting what you need as well.

How has taking into account the personality preference of another helped your communication?  Your relationship?  What was it like when others took your preferences into account?

References

Coaching for Leaders

How to Lead Extraverts and Introverts