Personality Matters

By Tiffany A. Dedeaux

A manager I work with in another capacity has confessed that taking into account my personality characteristics has really changed the way she’s been able to work with me because she better understands why I may do what I do.  I would agree.  Since that manager found a note on introversion on Facebook I have noticed a change in how our exchanges have gone.  The changes have been significant enough that I have felt more like a valued part of her team in my own right without having to demonstrate more extroverted tendencies.

Communication issues?  Could taking personality preferences into account be the missing piece of the puzzle? [Picture from Babble.com]

This is a good point to consider.  Are there relationships you’re in where the communication is not all that it could be?  Is there a difference in how you’re treated and how you want to be treated?  Could this be addressed by taking into account whether you’re an introvert or extrovert in your preferences?  I say preferences because as Bonni and Dave Stachowiak have pointed out on Coaching for Leaders, personality classifications are not one-size-fits-all, all-the-time label.  As I’ve gotten older and more established I have engaged in more extraverted activities.  It does help me to think about my preferences in terms of what my default is.

Pulling from the series that the Stachowiaks’ have put together, if you’re looking to improve your relationships with others – whether or not you work with them – consider this:

  • When do they feel most energized?  Alone?  When they’re with others?
  • How do they like to communicate?  Do they need silence to contemplate or to talk it through?
  • Can they be impatient with a slow pace?  Need to see progress?  Need regular feedback?
  • Do they work better independently? Need reminding to share what they’re thinking?

While this is a very simple look at things to consider, I would suggest that it would be good to step back from time to time to remind yourself to look at how the other people in your life give and receive information as well as to check in whether you’re getting what you need as well.

How has taking into account the personality preference of another helped your communication?  Your relationship?  What was it like when others took your preferences into account?

References

Coaching for Leaders

How to Lead Extraverts and Introverts

 

About tadedeaux

Tiffany, as an Associate Certified Career Coach, is a cross-pollinator of ideas with a background in broadcast journalism, social and ecopsychology, and coaching. Tiffany’s nearly two decades of experience has helped her to identify the power of story in connecting us to each other as well as to our environment. A believer in the power of reflection, practical application, and celebrating victories, Tiffany understands that the more we all live our dream, the more we can model it for future generations.
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2 Responses to Personality Matters

  1. Hey Tiffany,

    Thanks for referencing our show! How did you hear about us?

    Indeed, personality really is about preferences…we all tap into different personality traits all the time. The difference is what we tend to prefer and default to, like you said.

    I’ve also had success as people around me learned more about my personality type. And, it’s very much my responsibility to step out of my comfort zone too – I’m still continually amazed how many neat things happen for me in work and life when I chose to step out of an introverted comfort zone. I still default to that of course, but have noticed that as I get older, I like engaging more and more with others.

    Interestingly, research also supports the theory that as we age, we tend to become less tied to our preferences and more interested in the opposite dichotomies. Not true for everyone of course, but in general those with an extroverted preference begin to develop more interest in looking inward as they age and visa versa. Cool stuff.

    Looking forward to staying connected with you!

    Dave

    • tadedeaux says:

      Thanks for your response Dave and sharing your expertise. I just discovered your show a few months ago and think I’ve just caught up to your Monday routine.

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